25th July 2013
Pichle kai dino se mein ek hi book ko padhne ki koshish kar rahi hu....aaj tak meine 10 - 15 pages to padh hi liye hai.
in 10 - 15 pages ka mujhe par ye asar hua hai ki ab mein bhi diary likhne ke liye prerit ho gai hu. Ab jab than li hai to kyo na meinb kuch to likhu...
Aaj ka din normal hi suru hua par mein roz se thoda pehle uth gai thi...yahi koi 5:30 AM uthte hi dekh puja naha kar dressed up hokar comb kar rahi thi....
mere uthte hi usne "Gud Morning" ke sath hi apni farmaisho ki planning start kar di thi...jaise " Didi kal na bazar mein top nahi milli....ab mein apne birthday par kya pehnugi..
..aur ID par nishi ne bola to hai ki suite hi pehan kar aana hai par ek din ke liye mein aapka laya suite kyo barbad karu"
In short mein ye to samajh gai thi ki wo abhi suite mein nahi balki naye top mein intrusted hai..
..wel mein janti hu ki iska matlab ye to bilkul bhi nahi tha ki wo suite ko mujhe dene wali hai after alll wo uska birthday gift hai..
.meine hi to diya hai usse thoda advance hi diya hai taki ID tak wo us suite ko stich karwa sake.
Meine usse jaldi mein promiss kiya ki aaj sham ko hum laxmi nagar market jayeinge jaha se wo apni pasand ka top le legi aur mein waha se bhagi...washroom aur kaha?
And as usual mein tyaar hui office ke liye poo school ja chuki thi, bhai morning walk se aa gaya tha aur mummy & dadi ki humesha ki tarha subha-subha apni hi milli-julli sarkar chal rahi thi..
...matlab ki wo dono fir se kuch ajeebo garib khana banane ki tyaari mein thi in short hum bhookhe hi jane wale thy.
Seriously kahu jab se meine kitchen chhodi hai shayad hi in dono ne kabhi humare bare mein socha ho....
Khair mein chai pi kar rikshe wale ko call kiya...usne kaha wo 5 mints mein aa raha hai mein tyaar hokar niche aa jau..
..aur mein chai khatam kar niche gai dhoop dikh rahi thi mein bahar aa kar khadi hui.
Mujhe khade hue one mint bhi nahi ue thy ki papa samne se aa gai aur kehne lage "Aa gaya rikshewala ?"
"Nahi papa bas aa raha hai " papa ne jaise hi uppar jana start kiya halki si bunde girne lagi..
..mujhe laga uppar ki pani ki tanki bhar gai hai shayad par jab meine dur dekha to waha bhi waise hi pani ki bunde gir rahi thi...
Isse pehle ki mein barish ka anumaan lagati aur kuch karti......
..barish ne mujhe pura bhiga diya...sach kahu to kuch bas mein hota iss barish se bachne ke liye mein to bhi na karti.
...because i love barish.....par barish ka pani ikatha hona ye to nahi pasand......
well dekha to rikshewale bhaiya bhi bigtein hue aa rahe thy....mein turant rikshe par bethi to bahiya ne 2 options diye...
Barish mein chalna hai ya rukna hai.....?
Meine kaha bhaiya bhig to hum dono hi gaye hai to ruk kar late kyo ho...? aur hum nikal gaye well office to mein pohoch gai.
..problem to ab ye hai ki sirf mein bhigi hu aur koi bhi nahi kyoki office ki traf to barish hi nahi hui hai.
31st July 2013
Kal raat achanak hi ye decide kar liya tha ki mein jaungi sachin se milne...aur mein gai bhi.....
Jate hi usse dekh kar kuch ajeeb laga wo waise to music hi sun raha tha par halaat aur uski ankhe keh rahi thi ki wo mera hi itzaar kar raha tha.
waha pohochne ke baad thodi der tak fir wahi hua jisse mujhe nafart hai....par jaise ki meri adat mein sumaar hai mein aisa koi kaam nahi karti jo mujhe sukun ya peace de....to mein ab bhi wahi kar rahi thi....
Kuch batein jo us pure din ka saar thi wo ye hai ki.....
Ek aam insaan ko sirf apni bhookh se matlab hota hai par sachin adicted hai logo ko besahara kar ke kisi khaai mein dhakelne mein aur fir wo usse bacha kar uski zindgi ka malik ban jata hai....bas apni chalata hai...aur ek cheez jo pure process mein sath chalti hai wo hai lagatar apna palla jhadna...
mere liye ye cheeze nai to nahi thi.....manoj tha....
Mein jhud ko freind samajh kar gai thi par mujhe mere naseeb ne fir wahi la kar patak diya....
Priti tu sirf ek object hai jisse sirf ye pata chal payega ki ek aur insaan kaise sochta hai kaise zindagi ko handle karta hai....kyo na usse hum dost kahe us object ko mujhse ghulne mein asani hogi.....
Fir kuch kamiya pata chali...sorry pata nahi chali balki fir yaad aai...
Dance, mere hisaab se dancing is the world's geratest relaxable process.
"R ke sath dance kiya meine wo best moment tha" mein bata nahi sakti ki mujhe kitna ganda laga....
Mujhe fir ek moment mila jismein meine fir se apni lachari ko apni barbadi ka zimmedaar bataya par mein ye kisko batau ki sirf ye blame kar lene se bhi is dil ko sukun nahi aata...
Mujhe mera bachpan fir se yaad aaya jaha mein apni frd ke saath ground ke do chakkar nahi laga pati thi isliye mujhe class mein hi bethna padta tha ye yaad aya jab sachin ne kaha...
Mujhe yaad hai mere papa jab mere saath chalet hai wo mera hanth kabhi nahi chodte isliye nahi ki mein gir jaungi balki isliye ki wo aisa hone dene ka muka hi nahi aane denge…..
Meri behan puja jab jaha bhi sath ho wo humesha mera hanth pakad kar hi chalti hai…. Mein manti hu ki society, log dekhenge to kya kaheinge ye sab hai par pata nahi mein aise insaan kaha paungi jisse duniya se jyada meri fikr ho jo mujhe sambhalne ke liye nahi mere sath rehne ke liye mere har kadam ki duri ko mehsus karne ke liye mere saath rahe…… India mein jagte hue sapne dekhne ki azadi hai to chahte wo jhoot hi sahi….
" Wo waha thoda aage mein aur udita white souce pasta khane gaye thy" badi muskil se apne aasuo ko sambhal mein muskurane lagi...
Udita ne mujhe pehle bhi phone kar ke sachin se baat na karne ke liye kaha aur badi batmizi se kaha, kaha ki sachin hi mujhse baat karna nahi chahtein hai.....
par mein baat karna chahti thi, mujhe janna tha ki kya mein itni dominating hu ki koi mere samne ye bhi nahi except kar sakta, usse apne girl freind se mujhe call karwane ki jarurat padti hai....
Obvious hi tha ki sachi iss matter mein udita ko kuch nahi kahenge kyoki usne wahi kiya tha jo usse kaha gaya tha.... Par mujhe ye bhi nahi laga tha ki sachin uski is hakat ko defense kareinge….?
“Wo dost hai meri usne jo kiya hoga soch samajh kar hi kiya hoga”
In sabdo mei mujhese pure din kai baar pucha tha ki Priti tu yaha kar kya rahi hai….?
Bahar bhi gaye hum, rikshe se…jaise ki itni si dur kabhi sachin ne riksh use nahi kiya tha to thode se traffic ki wajah se sachin ne mujhe rikshe se utar kar yahio par hai to chalo pedal chalne ka invitation diya….mein bhi tyaar thi….hum saath thy chal rahe thy, chal rahe thy matlab ki unhone mujhe ek moment dene ki koshish ki jaha wo ye dikhana chahte thy ki wo apni dost ko duniya ke samne bhi accept kar saktein hai….par koshish to sirf koshish hi reh jati hai jab insaan dikhawe par aa jata hai to….
Use chand kadmo ke raste mein mujhe unke aur mere kadmo ki duri ne unke embareisment ke bare mein bataya…. Unki thodi thodi der mein palat kar piche dekhti nazar ne mujhe unke dimag mein chal rahi chinta ke bare mein bataya……
Kahi na kahi mujhe ye andaja to tha ki Priti muh utha kar kahi bhi aane aur logo ko embaras karne ke siwa agar aur kuch kar sakti hai to do that….
Fir se end of the day pure raste meri ankho par chasma paklo par aasu aur muh par stall bandha hua tha taki mein ankho se jo ansu girau jo stall mein such jaye aur agar rote hue gada ganda muh banau to koi dekhe naaaa….. auto mein rona bhi koi achi baat hai bala par ye bhi meri mazburi hi thi….ghar par koi akele rehne kaha dega jo mein apne man se roo saku aur na rone se mere dil ka dard sab par zahir ho jata…..
Ghar thoda jaldi aa gait hi isliye sidhe Wednesday market chali gai savi ke bête ke liye mein kuch kapde aur ghar ke liye 6 soup bowls with spoon kharede aur savi ke ghar chali gai.
Ghar pohonchi to papa ko ye pata chal chukka tha ki mein aaj office nahi kahi aur gait hi…. Par mujhse kisi ne kuch nahi pucha… mein ye sachi ko bata kar use guilty feel nahi karwana chahti thi to mujhe use bhi contact mein rehna tha aur parents ko bhi dekhna tha……
Ye to mein decide kar chuki thi ki mein sirf aaj hi baat karungi sachin se fir ek lamba gape dene wali hu isliye meine baat baat mein ye bhi keh diya tha ki aaj bohot baat kar li humne lagta hai 1 month ka pura kota hum aaj hi pura kar rahe hai…..par baat karete kartein pata nahi chala aur raat ke 12:30 baj gaye thy aur papa uth kar aaye aur unhone mujhe itni raat kisi se baat karte hue bhi dekh liya…..
Par meri jaise koi zid hi thi ki aaj baat kar ke kahani khatam karni hi hai….par phone se baat karne meine band kar chatting suru kar di aur issi bich mujhe yaad aaya ki agar mein ja rahi hu to kyo na hum Facebook par friends reh le kyoki pehle bhi sachin ye 4 baar mujhe keh chuke thy ki wo mujhe miss kar rahe hai FB par…. Kyoki routine basis par unke status ko log kam hi dekhtein hai ia know ki ye sirf kehne ki baat thi par meine baat ko taal diya tha…par milne se ek din pehle hi sachi ne kaha tha ki mein tumhe friend request bheji hai jaise hi mujhe ye yaad aa ya mein turant FB ID login kar ke dekha….. waha kuch nahi tha Fir se sachin ka ek aur jhoot aur mujhe ab ye maloom tha ki sachi technology ko lekar ab ek aisa bahana marne wale hai zise mein refuse karna chahungi hi nahi….. Par fir bhi meine unse pucha ki “Kaha hai FB par request” Fir se ek anokh duniya ke paar wala bahana….aur kaha ki mein abhi bhejta hau 18 baar mujhse pucha
Aai request?
Aai request?
Meine baar baar mana kiya fir janab kehte hai kit um hai bej do request pata nahi mere end se chatting to badiya ho rahi hai par request nahi ja rahi….mujhe kuch ajeeb to laga par I had send the request in just one click….
I know ki sachin udita se jhoot nahi bolna chatein honge ki meine priti ko friend request bheji ye batane mein acha nahi lagega na isliye mujhese request bhijwai aura b ye batana thik rahega ki bechari ne request bhej hi di to mein kya karu meine accept kar li……
Par jo bhi thaw o hua jo mein chahti thi….
Finally humne bye kiya ur sone chale gaye aur mein FB ka cover page banana lagi….jo ki mera shokh hai….
Maati se bane insaan kabhi to apni jaat chhod, Nahi tham sakega ungliyo par ret ko kabhi to apni aas chood….
Jaisa ki ab lag hi raha hai ki ye meine khud par hi likha tha par auro ke liye meine keh diya ki ye raj ke liye likha hai kyoki wo ab bhi kalpana ke wapas aane ka chup chap itzaar kar raha hai….Raaj mera aur sachi ka common friend jiske FB ID ke through mein sachin ko janti hu….
Ab meri iss situation ko bas sirf ek song welll define kar sakta hai......
Katra katra milti hai, katra katra zine do....
Zindagi hai, behne do, pyasi hu mein pyasi rehne do....
Rehne do naaaaaaaaaaa..........
Tumne di akash ki chaya, mere nage pairo mein zami hai,
Paa ke bhi tumhari aarzoo ho,Shayad aise zindagi hasi hai.......
Aarzuoo mein behne do, pyasi hu mein pyasi rehne do.........
Rehne do naaaaaaaaaaa..........
1st August2013
Jaise ki mere kal ka pura din ajeeb tha aur meine kal pure din mein sirf ek chai office mein aur ek glass coke sachin ke sath piya tha ghar pohoch kar pure din ki thakan aur ajeeb se kashmakash mein meine khana bhi nahi khaya tha….isliye aaj mein thoda sa bimaar feel kar rahi thi aur aaj bhi office na jane ka decide kiya tha….isliye mein subha hi PC par beth gai par net nahi aa raha tha utne mein mummy aai idhar udhar ki bato mein unhone bite din ke jitney bhi unsuljhe sawal hai mujhese puche….
Mein shant hi thi kya kehti ki mmmy mein gai to thi aaj ka din jine par apne kai jiye din mein kal gawa kar aai hum era chup rehna hi thik tha…. Mummy papa ke sabd pehle thoda kadwe thy par dheere dheere mere ansu dekh kar narm ho gaye….mummye ke jane ke baat mein bhi bina kuch soche samjhe office chali gai…
Office mein yaad aaya ki sachin aaj kurukshetra jane wale hai to ek formality call banta hai meine ja unhe 12 bahe phone kiya to janab so rahe thy aur inki train thi 12 baje ki fir mere puchne par sachin ne kaha ki mujhe 1:30 baje call karna….I said OK par 1:30 baje ke karib meine jab inhe online dekha to meine chate box mein msg daal diya ki ab to aap uth hi gaye hai to call ki to jarurat hai hi nahi…ok all the best for interview and bye bol meine sachi ka ek msg dekha jismein likha tha ki
“Sorry Dear mujhe tumhae Facebook se remove karna pada, mein nahi chata ki udita tumhe dekhe aur fir halla kare…understand me and leave me for the day just reply”
Ye padhne ke baad shayad dhadkano ke dhadkna chood sa diya tha, ungliya mouse par zam si gai thi aur ankhe bhar aai thi ... 2 minute ha do minte to mujhe apne aap ko ye batane mein lage thi ki haa aaj tujhe fir ek chata pada hai accept kar......
Pata nahi meine bhagwaan ji ka kya bigada hai ki mujhe shoke par shoke dene mein unhe shayad maza aata hai…..
Samajh nahi aa raha tha ki react kaise karu mein chillana chahti thi par office mein thi rona bhi chahati thi par nahi ro sakti thi….
Baat FB se remove karne ki nahi thi baat ye thi ki jin aurto ke haq ke liye jinke saath justice ke liye jinki respect ke liye aap 4 – 4 ghante bhasan dete ho aap khud aisa kisi ke saath kaise kar sakte ho….
Pehle pagal thy, ankhe gharab thi ya nashe mein thy ek raat pehle jab chaar baar FB join karne ke liye kaha tha tab ky udita mar gai ti nahi fir kyo…… humesha mein hi kyo…..
Par sachin se ye sab kehna to bekaar hi thaw o har baar jab bhi uski galti ho wo baat ko tod marod kar mujhpar hi daal deta tha aur mein chup ho jati hu sab accept kar leti hu . Isliye nahi ki I did that balki isliye ki agar mujhe samjhna chahta ye insaan to ye aisa karta hi nahi aur jo mujhe samjhta hai nahi use koi behas kar ke khud ko aur kya girana……
Kabhi kabhi to wo meri bato ko samajhta hai par kabhi kabhi mujhe par kaside kastein hue, sina chaoda kar aage badh jata hai….
Aaj to ajeeb hi ho gaya than a ghar mein ja kar kisi ko face karne ka man ho raha tha aur nahi hi office mein man lag raha tha….mujhe rona tha jo mein ghar mein hi kar sakti hu aur ghar jane par papa-mummy ki sawalo bhari nigaho ka mein kya jawab deti……
Aksar aisa hota hai ki apne halat baya karne ke liye lafz bhi sath nahi dete aise mein jo mein aksar karte hai wo hai
Aaj mujhe fir apne satitwa par shak hua,
Mein logo ko dikhti nahi hu ya fir mein nazarandaaz karne ke hi layak hu......
Aye aasma ke khwab dikhane wale,
mujhe to udhar dekhne ki bhi izazat nahi.........
Mein ab bhi zinda hu,
Ye meri ankhe na shai meri sanse bhi nahi bata pati humhe....?
Pichle kai dino se mein ek hi book ko padhne ki koshish kar rahi hu....aaj tak meine 10 - 15 pages to padh hi liye hai.
in 10 - 15 pages ka mujhe par ye asar hua hai ki ab mein bhi diary likhne ke liye prerit ho gai hu. Ab jab than li hai to kyo na meinb kuch to likhu...
Aaj ka din normal hi suru hua par mein roz se thoda pehle uth gai thi...yahi koi 5:30 AM uthte hi dekh puja naha kar dressed up hokar comb kar rahi thi....
mere uthte hi usne "Gud Morning" ke sath hi apni farmaisho ki planning start kar di thi...jaise " Didi kal na bazar mein top nahi milli....ab mein apne birthday par kya pehnugi..
..aur ID par nishi ne bola to hai ki suite hi pehan kar aana hai par ek din ke liye mein aapka laya suite kyo barbad karu"
In short mein ye to samajh gai thi ki wo abhi suite mein nahi balki naye top mein intrusted hai..
..wel mein janti hu ki iska matlab ye to bilkul bhi nahi tha ki wo suite ko mujhe dene wali hai after alll wo uska birthday gift hai..
.meine hi to diya hai usse thoda advance hi diya hai taki ID tak wo us suite ko stich karwa sake.
Meine usse jaldi mein promiss kiya ki aaj sham ko hum laxmi nagar market jayeinge jaha se wo apni pasand ka top le legi aur mein waha se bhagi...washroom aur kaha?
And as usual mein tyaar hui office ke liye poo school ja chuki thi, bhai morning walk se aa gaya tha aur mummy & dadi ki humesha ki tarha subha-subha apni hi milli-julli sarkar chal rahi thi..
...matlab ki wo dono fir se kuch ajeebo garib khana banane ki tyaari mein thi in short hum bhookhe hi jane wale thy.
Seriously kahu jab se meine kitchen chhodi hai shayad hi in dono ne kabhi humare bare mein socha ho....
Khair mein chai pi kar rikshe wale ko call kiya...usne kaha wo 5 mints mein aa raha hai mein tyaar hokar niche aa jau..
..aur mein chai khatam kar niche gai dhoop dikh rahi thi mein bahar aa kar khadi hui.
Mujhe khade hue one mint bhi nahi ue thy ki papa samne se aa gai aur kehne lage "Aa gaya rikshewala ?"
"Nahi papa bas aa raha hai " papa ne jaise hi uppar jana start kiya halki si bunde girne lagi..
..mujhe laga uppar ki pani ki tanki bhar gai hai shayad par jab meine dur dekha to waha bhi waise hi pani ki bunde gir rahi thi...
Isse pehle ki mein barish ka anumaan lagati aur kuch karti......
..barish ne mujhe pura bhiga diya...sach kahu to kuch bas mein hota iss barish se bachne ke liye mein to bhi na karti.
...because i love barish.....par barish ka pani ikatha hona ye to nahi pasand......
well dekha to rikshewale bhaiya bhi bigtein hue aa rahe thy....mein turant rikshe par bethi to bahiya ne 2 options diye...
Barish mein chalna hai ya rukna hai.....?
Meine kaha bhaiya bhig to hum dono hi gaye hai to ruk kar late kyo ho...? aur hum nikal gaye well office to mein pohoch gai.
..problem to ab ye hai ki sirf mein bhigi hu aur koi bhi nahi kyoki office ki traf to barish hi nahi hui hai.
31st July 2013
Kal raat achanak hi ye decide kar liya tha ki mein jaungi sachin se milne...aur mein gai bhi.....
Jate hi usse dekh kar kuch ajeeb laga wo waise to music hi sun raha tha par halaat aur uski ankhe keh rahi thi ki wo mera hi itzaar kar raha tha.
waha pohochne ke baad thodi der tak fir wahi hua jisse mujhe nafart hai....par jaise ki meri adat mein sumaar hai mein aisa koi kaam nahi karti jo mujhe sukun ya peace de....to mein ab bhi wahi kar rahi thi....
Kuch batein jo us pure din ka saar thi wo ye hai ki.....
Ek aam insaan ko sirf apni bhookh se matlab hota hai par sachin adicted hai logo ko besahara kar ke kisi khaai mein dhakelne mein aur fir wo usse bacha kar uski zindgi ka malik ban jata hai....bas apni chalata hai...aur ek cheez jo pure process mein sath chalti hai wo hai lagatar apna palla jhadna...
mere liye ye cheeze nai to nahi thi.....manoj tha....
Mein jhud ko freind samajh kar gai thi par mujhe mere naseeb ne fir wahi la kar patak diya....
Priti tu sirf ek object hai jisse sirf ye pata chal payega ki ek aur insaan kaise sochta hai kaise zindagi ko handle karta hai....kyo na usse hum dost kahe us object ko mujhse ghulne mein asani hogi.....
Fir kuch kamiya pata chali...sorry pata nahi chali balki fir yaad aai...
Dance, mere hisaab se dancing is the world's geratest relaxable process.
"R ke sath dance kiya meine wo best moment tha" mein bata nahi sakti ki mujhe kitna ganda laga....
Mujhe fir ek moment mila jismein meine fir se apni lachari ko apni barbadi ka zimmedaar bataya par mein ye kisko batau ki sirf ye blame kar lene se bhi is dil ko sukun nahi aata...
Mujhe mera bachpan fir se yaad aaya jaha mein apni frd ke saath ground ke do chakkar nahi laga pati thi isliye mujhe class mein hi bethna padta tha ye yaad aya jab sachin ne kaha...
Mujhe yaad hai mere papa jab mere saath chalet hai wo mera hanth kabhi nahi chodte isliye nahi ki mein gir jaungi balki isliye ki wo aisa hone dene ka muka hi nahi aane denge…..
Meri behan puja jab jaha bhi sath ho wo humesha mera hanth pakad kar hi chalti hai…. Mein manti hu ki society, log dekhenge to kya kaheinge ye sab hai par pata nahi mein aise insaan kaha paungi jisse duniya se jyada meri fikr ho jo mujhe sambhalne ke liye nahi mere sath rehne ke liye mere har kadam ki duri ko mehsus karne ke liye mere saath rahe…… India mein jagte hue sapne dekhne ki azadi hai to chahte wo jhoot hi sahi….
" Wo waha thoda aage mein aur udita white souce pasta khane gaye thy" badi muskil se apne aasuo ko sambhal mein muskurane lagi...
Udita ne mujhe pehle bhi phone kar ke sachin se baat na karne ke liye kaha aur badi batmizi se kaha, kaha ki sachin hi mujhse baat karna nahi chahtein hai.....
par mein baat karna chahti thi, mujhe janna tha ki kya mein itni dominating hu ki koi mere samne ye bhi nahi except kar sakta, usse apne girl freind se mujhe call karwane ki jarurat padti hai....
Obvious hi tha ki sachi iss matter mein udita ko kuch nahi kahenge kyoki usne wahi kiya tha jo usse kaha gaya tha.... Par mujhe ye bhi nahi laga tha ki sachin uski is hakat ko defense kareinge….?
“Wo dost hai meri usne jo kiya hoga soch samajh kar hi kiya hoga”
In sabdo mei mujhese pure din kai baar pucha tha ki Priti tu yaha kar kya rahi hai….?
Bahar bhi gaye hum, rikshe se…jaise ki itni si dur kabhi sachin ne riksh use nahi kiya tha to thode se traffic ki wajah se sachin ne mujhe rikshe se utar kar yahio par hai to chalo pedal chalne ka invitation diya….mein bhi tyaar thi….hum saath thy chal rahe thy, chal rahe thy matlab ki unhone mujhe ek moment dene ki koshish ki jaha wo ye dikhana chahte thy ki wo apni dost ko duniya ke samne bhi accept kar saktein hai….par koshish to sirf koshish hi reh jati hai jab insaan dikhawe par aa jata hai to….
Use chand kadmo ke raste mein mujhe unke aur mere kadmo ki duri ne unke embareisment ke bare mein bataya…. Unki thodi thodi der mein palat kar piche dekhti nazar ne mujhe unke dimag mein chal rahi chinta ke bare mein bataya……
Kahi na kahi mujhe ye andaja to tha ki Priti muh utha kar kahi bhi aane aur logo ko embaras karne ke siwa agar aur kuch kar sakti hai to do that….
Fir se end of the day pure raste meri ankho par chasma paklo par aasu aur muh par stall bandha hua tha taki mein ankho se jo ansu girau jo stall mein such jaye aur agar rote hue gada ganda muh banau to koi dekhe naaaa….. auto mein rona bhi koi achi baat hai bala par ye bhi meri mazburi hi thi….ghar par koi akele rehne kaha dega jo mein apne man se roo saku aur na rone se mere dil ka dard sab par zahir ho jata…..
Ghar thoda jaldi aa gait hi isliye sidhe Wednesday market chali gai savi ke bête ke liye mein kuch kapde aur ghar ke liye 6 soup bowls with spoon kharede aur savi ke ghar chali gai.
Ghar pohonchi to papa ko ye pata chal chukka tha ki mein aaj office nahi kahi aur gait hi…. Par mujhse kisi ne kuch nahi pucha… mein ye sachi ko bata kar use guilty feel nahi karwana chahti thi to mujhe use bhi contact mein rehna tha aur parents ko bhi dekhna tha……
Ye to mein decide kar chuki thi ki mein sirf aaj hi baat karungi sachin se fir ek lamba gape dene wali hu isliye meine baat baat mein ye bhi keh diya tha ki aaj bohot baat kar li humne lagta hai 1 month ka pura kota hum aaj hi pura kar rahe hai…..par baat karete kartein pata nahi chala aur raat ke 12:30 baj gaye thy aur papa uth kar aaye aur unhone mujhe itni raat kisi se baat karte hue bhi dekh liya…..
Par meri jaise koi zid hi thi ki aaj baat kar ke kahani khatam karni hi hai….par phone se baat karne meine band kar chatting suru kar di aur issi bich mujhe yaad aaya ki agar mein ja rahi hu to kyo na hum Facebook par friends reh le kyoki pehle bhi sachin ye 4 baar mujhe keh chuke thy ki wo mujhe miss kar rahe hai FB par…. Kyoki routine basis par unke status ko log kam hi dekhtein hai ia know ki ye sirf kehne ki baat thi par meine baat ko taal diya tha…par milne se ek din pehle hi sachi ne kaha tha ki mein tumhe friend request bheji hai jaise hi mujhe ye yaad aa ya mein turant FB ID login kar ke dekha….. waha kuch nahi tha Fir se sachin ka ek aur jhoot aur mujhe ab ye maloom tha ki sachi technology ko lekar ab ek aisa bahana marne wale hai zise mein refuse karna chahungi hi nahi….. Par fir bhi meine unse pucha ki “Kaha hai FB par request” Fir se ek anokh duniya ke paar wala bahana….aur kaha ki mein abhi bhejta hau 18 baar mujhse pucha
Aai request?
Aai request?
Meine baar baar mana kiya fir janab kehte hai kit um hai bej do request pata nahi mere end se chatting to badiya ho rahi hai par request nahi ja rahi….mujhe kuch ajeeb to laga par I had send the request in just one click….
I know ki sachin udita se jhoot nahi bolna chatein honge ki meine priti ko friend request bheji ye batane mein acha nahi lagega na isliye mujhese request bhijwai aura b ye batana thik rahega ki bechari ne request bhej hi di to mein kya karu meine accept kar li……
Par jo bhi thaw o hua jo mein chahti thi….
Finally humne bye kiya ur sone chale gaye aur mein FB ka cover page banana lagi….jo ki mera shokh hai….
Maati se bane insaan kabhi to apni jaat chhod, Nahi tham sakega ungliyo par ret ko kabhi to apni aas chood….
Jaisa ki ab lag hi raha hai ki ye meine khud par hi likha tha par auro ke liye meine keh diya ki ye raj ke liye likha hai kyoki wo ab bhi kalpana ke wapas aane ka chup chap itzaar kar raha hai….Raaj mera aur sachi ka common friend jiske FB ID ke through mein sachin ko janti hu….
Ab meri iss situation ko bas sirf ek song welll define kar sakta hai......
Katra katra milti hai, katra katra zine do....
Zindagi hai, behne do, pyasi hu mein pyasi rehne do....
Rehne do naaaaaaaaaaa..........
Tumne di akash ki chaya, mere nage pairo mein zami hai,
Paa ke bhi tumhari aarzoo ho,Shayad aise zindagi hasi hai.......
Aarzuoo mein behne do, pyasi hu mein pyasi rehne do.........
Rehne do naaaaaaaaaaa..........
1st August2013
Jaise ki mere kal ka pura din ajeeb tha aur meine kal pure din mein sirf ek chai office mein aur ek glass coke sachin ke sath piya tha ghar pohoch kar pure din ki thakan aur ajeeb se kashmakash mein meine khana bhi nahi khaya tha….isliye aaj mein thoda sa bimaar feel kar rahi thi aur aaj bhi office na jane ka decide kiya tha….isliye mein subha hi PC par beth gai par net nahi aa raha tha utne mein mummy aai idhar udhar ki bato mein unhone bite din ke jitney bhi unsuljhe sawal hai mujhese puche….
Mein shant hi thi kya kehti ki mmmy mein gai to thi aaj ka din jine par apne kai jiye din mein kal gawa kar aai hum era chup rehna hi thik tha…. Mummy papa ke sabd pehle thoda kadwe thy par dheere dheere mere ansu dekh kar narm ho gaye….mummye ke jane ke baat mein bhi bina kuch soche samjhe office chali gai…
Office mein yaad aaya ki sachin aaj kurukshetra jane wale hai to ek formality call banta hai meine ja unhe 12 bahe phone kiya to janab so rahe thy aur inki train thi 12 baje ki fir mere puchne par sachin ne kaha ki mujhe 1:30 baje call karna….I said OK par 1:30 baje ke karib meine jab inhe online dekha to meine chate box mein msg daal diya ki ab to aap uth hi gaye hai to call ki to jarurat hai hi nahi…ok all the best for interview and bye bol meine sachi ka ek msg dekha jismein likha tha ki
“Sorry Dear mujhe tumhae Facebook se remove karna pada, mein nahi chata ki udita tumhe dekhe aur fir halla kare…understand me and leave me for the day just reply”
Ye padhne ke baad shayad dhadkano ke dhadkna chood sa diya tha, ungliya mouse par zam si gai thi aur ankhe bhar aai thi ... 2 minute ha do minte to mujhe apne aap ko ye batane mein lage thi ki haa aaj tujhe fir ek chata pada hai accept kar......
Pata nahi meine bhagwaan ji ka kya bigada hai ki mujhe shoke par shoke dene mein unhe shayad maza aata hai…..
Samajh nahi aa raha tha ki react kaise karu mein chillana chahti thi par office mein thi rona bhi chahati thi par nahi ro sakti thi….
Baat FB se remove karne ki nahi thi baat ye thi ki jin aurto ke haq ke liye jinke saath justice ke liye jinki respect ke liye aap 4 – 4 ghante bhasan dete ho aap khud aisa kisi ke saath kaise kar sakte ho….
Pehle pagal thy, ankhe gharab thi ya nashe mein thy ek raat pehle jab chaar baar FB join karne ke liye kaha tha tab ky udita mar gai ti nahi fir kyo…… humesha mein hi kyo…..
Par sachin se ye sab kehna to bekaar hi thaw o har baar jab bhi uski galti ho wo baat ko tod marod kar mujhpar hi daal deta tha aur mein chup ho jati hu sab accept kar leti hu . Isliye nahi ki I did that balki isliye ki agar mujhe samjhna chahta ye insaan to ye aisa karta hi nahi aur jo mujhe samjhta hai nahi use koi behas kar ke khud ko aur kya girana……
Kabhi kabhi to wo meri bato ko samajhta hai par kabhi kabhi mujhe par kaside kastein hue, sina chaoda kar aage badh jata hai….
Aaj to ajeeb hi ho gaya than a ghar mein ja kar kisi ko face karne ka man ho raha tha aur nahi hi office mein man lag raha tha….mujhe rona tha jo mein ghar mein hi kar sakti hu aur ghar jane par papa-mummy ki sawalo bhari nigaho ka mein kya jawab deti……
Aksar aisa hota hai ki apne halat baya karne ke liye lafz bhi sath nahi dete aise mein jo mein aksar karte hai wo hai
Aaj mujhe fir apne satitwa par shak hua,
Mein logo ko dikhti nahi hu ya fir mein nazarandaaz karne ke hi layak hu......
Aye aasma ke khwab dikhane wale,
mujhe to udhar dekhne ki bhi izazat nahi.........
Mein ab bhi zinda hu,
Ye meri ankhe na shai meri sanse bhi nahi bata pati humhe....?
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