Nam sa mausam, sard hawaiye.....aisa lag rah tha bas badal ab barse. Sab is mosam ka maza le rahe thy. Meri friend Raziya, Vibha, Rajni, Sabana aur Rima kho-kho kel rahi thi. Mein apne ghar ki chokhat pe baithi thi hanth mein ek katori thi jismein thode se chips thy. Wo sabhi khel rahethy aur mein sirf unhe dekh kar khus ho rahi thi. Kuch waqt bita aur wo kheltein kheltein na jane kaha chle gaye, mein unhe aur khelte hue dekhna chahti thi par wo nazar nahi aa rahe thy. Wo wapas aayeinge is intzaar mein ek ghate bit gaye par wo to nahi aaye mein waha aur akele nahi beithna chahti thi isliye meine mummy ko bulaya, " mummy..., mummy........., Aao na ab mujhe yaha nahi bethna hai, mujhe andar aana hai" Mummy ne kaha "Beta bahar kitna achha musam hai tum wahi betho sara din pata nahi apne room mein kya karti rehti ho" fir pyaar se kaha "wahi betho beta thodi der mein le aaungi, thik hai" Meine bade hi dabe hu man se kaha "thik hai maa, par aap jaldi aana" , "thik hai beta, bas ye kapde press karke aati hu"
Kabhi chidiya kabhi koi janwar idhar se udhar jatein to mein unhe dekhne lagti kabhi hasti aur kabhi piche dekh kar fir mummy ka intzaar karti". thodi hi der baad mummy aai aur kaha "kya hua.....? andar kyo jana hai......?" meine kaha nahi mummy mujhe andar le chalo na aur mummy mujhe godd mein utha kar ander le hi ja rahi thi ki Raziya aai aur kaha kya hua "Priti ja rahi ho, mein thak gai khel khel kar, chalo pir kal miltein hai" meine kaha "thik hai mein bhi thak" isse pehle ki mein apni baat puri karti wo chali gai thi. aur mummy mujhe kamre mein le aai thi.
Ab mein apne kamre mein aa gai thi. Gulabi colour ki diware ek single bed pe purpal colour ki bed sheet aur Almirah, meri almirah ismein to meri dunia thi... thodi der bethi mein fir bore hone lagi socha kuch karti hu.....meine almira khola aur dekha ki kuch chart pappers pade hai dimag mein aaya ki chalo inka greeting banati hu saare freinds ko dungi aur puchungi ki mujhe chhor ke kaha chale gaithy sab...... meine raat ke dinner tak 10 greetings banaye, ek mummy ke liye ek papa ke liye aur baaki meri freinds ke liye wo kal aane wali thi na to mein unhe surprise deti. Agle din school se ane ke baad mein apne room mein thi vibha ne 3 baje aane ko kaha tha, mein intzaar kar rahi thi sath mein tom & jerry bhi dekh rahi thi par homework nahi kiya tha soch pehle unse mil kar ye de du na fir homework karungi..... intzaar mein raat ke 8 baj gaye koi nahi aaya... mujhe gussa a raha tha meine sare gereeting khud hi faad diye aur mein rote rote so gai....aur aise ek aur din mera biit gaya....
Kabhi luch hour mein class ke bahar jana ho ya games ke period mein khelne ground mein jana ho meri jagah aur mera interest apni seat par hi rehta tha....in sab mein kuch cheeze bohot achhi thi ki mein puri class ke liye locker ban gai thi....jisse jo rakhna ho mere pass chor jata aur wapas aake le jata..... jiska kaam complete na ho mujhe de jata "tu to class mein hi hai na isse kar dena hum bas games ke period ke baad aatein hai".....
Jaha baki sabhi teacher ke na aane ki dua kartein thy, mein humesha pray karti thi ki teacher aaye aur padhayein warna sab fir se mujhe chood ke bahar chale jayeinge......yuu hi dekhtein-dekhtein waqt guzarta gaya par ek cheez jo kabhi mujhe chhod kar dur nahi hui wo tha mera akelapan....aur mere issi akelepan ne mujhe Shahiba se milwaya....Shahiba, jise na kisi se wasta tha na sarokaar, jo sirf khud mein rehna janti thi. Apne aap mein complete thi.
Jo mujhe humesha ye sikhati thi ki jo teri parwah na kare uski taraf rukh bhi mat modo... agar koi aaya hai to baat karo par fir aayega ki umeed mat karo.....tum alag ho sab se alag, aisa kuch nahi hai tum mein jo dusro ko tum tak le ke aaye, too kyo nahi khud mein apni saari duniya ban jati ho tum......? Usne mujhe bataya ki logo se ye umeed karna band karo ki wo tumme kuch achha dekhege, bina swart tum par apne waqt barbaad kareinge.. Jo tumtak aayega wo kahi na kahi apne kisi maksad ko pura karne aayega, fir aise logo ki kya umeed.....? Kyo inki Parwah.......?
Nahi janti thi mein ki wo kya keh rahi thi aur mujhe kya karna tha bas jo pata tha wo ye tha ki uski bato se mere purane zakhm par dawa sa asar ho raha tha...... Na jane kyo bohot achi samajh hone ke baad bhi wo mujhe thokar kahe se nahi bacha pati hi.......Shahiba aur koi nahi balki mera hi aksh thi, jo mere dard mein mujh par hasti thi aur uske hone ka ehsaas dilati thi...... jise mere akelepan ne hi janam diya tha meri hi kamzoriyo se ladne ke liye....... jise kisi aur ke astitwa se koi wasta na ho..... jo thi to akeli par kabhi akeli na ho.....jiske paas dard ke aansu nahi dwaa ho......Dekhtein-dekhtein Shahiba Priti par is kadar haawi ho gai ki priti ke dam todne ka ehsaas bhi priti ko nahi huaa...Ab Priti dil se nahi dimag se sunne lagi thi...
Samaye ke saath log aate rahe jatein rahe.....Fir bhi kabhi kisi se shikayat nahi thi us uppar wale ke siwa, Tab tak ke safar mein jo pata chal paya wo bas itna tha ki Priti tu ek bohot achi dost hai, Achhi Behan hai, Achhi beti hai, Achhi Premika bhi hai par agar tera pair sahi hota na to mein tumse saadi kar leta..... ek nahi 2 nahi na jane kitno ne ye jataya kuch ne saaf kaha aur kuch ne sif isare kiye.
Is ek line ne priti ko dafan karne mein sahiba ki aur madat ki, fir aaye humari zindagi mein Mr. Manoj Panday jinhone priti ko dekha pehli nazar mein pasand kiya aur khud se saadi ki baat mere papa se ki... tab aisa laga ki shayad meine duniya ko samajhne mein kafi kasar chor di...... ab mein sahiba ko piche chorna chahti thi par wo thi ki aksh ban gai thi meri, jaise wo mujhe khush dekhna hi nahi chahti thi...Kise pata tha ki ek waqt aayega jab wo hi sahi sabit hogi...... Badi dikato se shahiba ko khud se piche dhakela meine aur ek kadam manoj ki tarf aage badaya aur uske praposal ka jawab diya " Saadi ek bohot badi cheez hai, aapne shayad thik se dekha nahi mujhe aur dusri baat humara jawab humare papa aap tak pohocha denge". wahi jaha meine puri koshish ki mein apne pair ki paresani dikhau wahi unhone apni ek ankh dikhane ki bhi koshish ki.... sach kahu to meine unki ankh nahi dekhi thi jarurat hi nahi thi....Shahiba ne kaha tha usse involve ho dikh tujhe kitni problem hai chalne mein aur na chal pane ki wajah se jine mein bhi....par aisa nahi hua.....Shahiba galt sabit hui.....Usse mere pair se koi shikayat nahi thi wo khush tha, wo mujhe pana chahta tha....Kash ye waqt wahi tam jata aur meri zindgi usi waqt ki khusiyo mein simat ke dam tod deti par aisa nahi hua...............
Ye feeling pehli baar mehsus ki thi meine.........sab acha tha.....Shahiba ko to meine chup karwa diya tha.......usse to chup hona hi tha na........mein jo bol padi thi... Bohot pareshaniya thi humre ristein ko lekar......unke ghar wale tyaar nahi thy,humari soch mein jamin aasman ka sa fark tha, mein humesha se delhi mein rahi aur wo UP, Amethi ke bhadar ghaw mein,har cheez mein sirf dikkat thi par unki us ek line ne mujhe mujhse hi jabardasti karne par mazboor kar diya tha...
mujhe paisa, status, secure job kabhi bhi nahi chahiye thi ye to us waqt tha mere pass....... bas sirf ek cheez chahiye thi kisi ka saath umar bhar ka..... bina kisi shikayat ke......... Khud se wada tha mera ki mein khud ko badal dungi.....Kuch bhi, matlab kuch bhi karungi par ab inhe jane nahi dungi........
Ghaw mein rahungi, chulhe pe khana bananungi, mitti ke ghar mein rehna, gobar se lipna, dhaan pitna har wo kaam karna jo ek typical house wife ghaw wali karti hai mein karungi........ humari sagai hui......aur mein janti thi ki ye koi mamuli faisla nahi tha jo meine tthan liya aur ho gaya.....sagai se saadi tak ki apni zindagi ko meine khud plain kiya..... may june ki garmi mein bina fan, AC ya coolar ke sona, job chod kar ghar ke saare kaam karna, silai sikhna, saadi pehnna, kisi ke puchne pe jawab simple hota tha waha to ye sab nahi hoga na to aadat to dalni padegi na....mein tyaar thi har taklif ke liye manoj ke emotional support ki jarurat thi bas........kise pata tha ki in tyaariyo ki jo fooz khadi ki hai meine wo sirf ek sahare ke bina reet ki tarha deh jayeinge.....
Papa shadi ki tarikh pakki karne gaye thy amethi aur jab wapas aaye to khabar mili ki ye saadi nahi hogi.....reason tha ki unki mange khatam hi nahi ho rahi thi aur papa ne rista tod diya tha...... us pal mein do uljhano mein fasi thai na jane kon si khusi thi aur kon sa gam tha, pehli uljhan thi ki ab mujhe itni dur manoj ke pass nahi jana hoga aur dusri ki ab kya koi aur aisa milega mujhe...............?
Dil-o-dimag mein jawab clear tha isliye is ritein ke tutne ka gam bohot jyada tha. Fir lag-bahag 6-7 din baad manoj ji ka call aaya papa ke pass aur kaha ki unki family thoda purane khayalato ki hai is liye unki mummy ne ye sab unintentionally keh diya... aur agle 2 saal mein unhone fir apne sabhi ghar walo ko aur mere parents ko manaya is bich unhone mujhse kabhi baat hi nahi ki........ bura to lag raha tha par meine isse positively lete hue accept kiya.....Itne dino Shahiba ji shayad apne astitwa thoda bhul chuki thi ya yu kehle ki wo ek gehri nind puri kar rahi thi kyoki shayad wo janti thi ki aage unki bohot jarurat aan padegi.........
Saadi ki date fix hui 11th June 2009, abhi saadi mein pure ek saal se bhi jyada ka samaye tha, mein unse baat karna chahti thi par khud kaise aage aati isliye kabhi khud interust nahi dikhaya kisi ko....umnke call aate rehtein thy kabhi mummy se kabhi papa ya behan se baat hoti thi ek din unhone achanak kaha ki priti se baat karwa denge plzzz aur usse bhi jyada ajeeb ye ki meri mummy mujhe phone la ke de rahi thi ki "Manoj ka phone hai baat kar lo, tumse khuch baat karni hai" meine as usual meine thode nakhde dikhaye aur inkaar mein gardan hila di, us waqt agar dil ichhaye napne ka koi parameter hota to us waqt meri chori pakdi jati ki mein mari ja rahi thi baat karne ke liye. Mummy ne isaro se thoda force kiya aur meine phone pakad liya aur kaha "Hello" mummy mujhe phone de kar chali gai thi. Udhar se manoj ki awaz aai ki "Aapki awaz bohot achhi hai" Jo himmat jutai thi baat karne ki wo to wahi dher ho gaithi...thodi der ke sannate ke baad unhone kaha "kuch kahogi nahi" meine kaha "Kaise hai aap.....aur family.....?" "Sab to thik hai bas mein thik nahi hu" jawab aaya..... aur tab lag ki shayad ab mein kuch bol hi nahi paungi......par fir bhi humne 5-6 mint baat ki aur meine mummy ke ane ka bahana bana kar phone rakh diya....dar tha na ki kahi sari khusiya aaj hi na khatam ho jaye.......
Ab to aksar unke calls aane lage thy mein baat bhi karti thi sab okay-okay tha lagbhag 2 haftein fir ek din humari baat ka topic delhi aur working ladkiya tha, "Delhi jaise shahr mein jo kaam karti hai wo kitni sati savitri hoti hai sabhi jantein hai" unki is line ne to jaise soti Shahiba ko thapad mar kar jaga diya ho, par bhich mein mein thi meine shahiba ko kuch bhi kehne hi nahi diya aur phone kat kar diya.....Tab se to jaise ek silsila sa chalu ho gaya tha Shahiba ko jagjhodne ka...." Mera ek sawal ki "Aap mujhse hi saadi kyo karna chahtein hai....." meine ye puchne se pehle to socha bhi nahi tha ki ye shayad meri zindgi ka sabse wahiyat sawal hone wala tha........Jawab aaya ki "Mein bachpan se hi bohot alag hu mein wo karta hu jo koi nahi karta, meine apni zindagi dusro ke naam kar di hai, tuse saadi karke mein zindgi bhar tumhe sahara dunga, paropkar hi mera pehla lakshya hai" Kuch bura to nahi kaha tha par na jane kyo Shahiba mujh par hasne lagi thi aur meri ankho se asu nikalne lage thy fir unhone kaha ki, " Mujhse to koi bhi saadi kar le par tumse kon karega, aur karega bhi to shayad wo bhi tumhari tarha pero se apahij ho.... To mujhe laga ki mein tumhare liye best hu...you know na.......?" kuch bol nahi sakti thi warna unhe pata chal jata ki mein ro rahi hu iskiye meine sirf "Hmmmm" keh diya aur unhone kaha "Tum khush rahogi mujhe jaise pati ko pakar" koi jawab nahi tha mere pass aur Shahiba bhi ek lambi nind se uthi thi wo bhi shant thi......Us pur din mein kuch to samajhne ki koshih kar rahi thi par kya ye shayad mujhe aaj bhi nahi pata....?
Shaam hui papa aaye, Mummy ne kaha "Aaj manoj ka call aaya tha priti se baat ki tab se pata nahi kyo kaddu sa muh bana kar apne kamre mein hi bethi hai" Papa ne mujhe awaz lagai "Baby......O Baby idhar to aa mera bachha........aaj manoj se baat hui to papa ko ghar aane pe namate bhi nahi kiya" Mein to jaise dono ankho mein water supply ki pipeline leke tyaar hi bethi thi, koi bulaye aur mein starty ho jau....... Mein turant papa ke pass gai aur papa ke pith par sar tika ke zor zor se rone lagi" papa, mummy behan aur bhai sab ko to jaise saap gungh gaya tha sab apne kaam chod kar aaye aur puchne lage "kya hua"...sab ke tention ke chehre dekh ke shayad mein asli baat bhul gai aur rote rote meine kaha "Kuch nahi sasural jana hai na to rone ki practice kar rahi hu, warna sab kahege ki delhi wali bahu to badi modern hai" Sab ke chehre se chintaye hat gai aur papa ne gale laga ke kaha "koi jaruratnahi hai practice ki, wo TV seriol wale dalteinhai na ankho mein drop wo dal lena kaam chal jayega" Thik hai na....? "ha papa ye sahi hai na......? "Pehle batana tha khamkha itne ansu bekar chale gaye" meine kaha. Ghud ko ye keh kar samjha liya tha ki sach hi to kaha tha unhone galat kya kaha tha......kyo insab ko pareshan karu.....?
Fir to ek silsila sa chal gaya tha raato ko rokar bitane ka......kabhi unka ye kehna ki "Ladkiya hoti hi hai dusro ke gale madne ke liye" aur kabhi "waise tum elhi waliya chalu aur expert to bohot hoti ho....na?" unki samajh ke hisab se ye unke mazak mere liye mazak reh hi nahi patein thy........Shayad mere saath hi kuch problem thi........koi tha bhi to nahi jisse ye sab discuss karti......
Ek din mein paresaan ho gai thi aur meine papa se kaha ki "Papa ye kya hai, manoj kabhi koi sidhi baat kyo nahi kartein. Inse baat karke mujhe itni tention aur bechaini kyo ho jati hai na kisi cheez ka dhang se jawab dena na kisi ki sunna" Ek mint ke pause ke baad papa ne kaha "Dekho beta aisa hota hai tum dono thik se ek dusre ko jantein nahi ho, tumhare dimag mein yaha se jane ki chinta aur use dimag mein tuhe yaha se lejake settle karne ki chinta tum dono ko ek dusre ki shayad achhaiya dekhne ka muka naho se rahe hai aur jaha tak rahi shabdo ki baat to kya ye nahi ho sakta ki tum jis mahol mein rahi ho tumhe uski aadat hai ab ye aadat hi tumhara nature hai to waise hi wo jin ligi ke bhich mein rehta hai wo aise hi bolta ho..isse ye to sabit nahi hota naki wo bura hai, par agar tumhe koi dikkat hai to kahi mein baat karta hu usse.....?"
Aur meri dusri sabse badi galti ki meine jawab diya "nahi papa, aap sahi ho wo ghaw ke hai na isliye unki boli thoda akhad hai" ye to meine papa ko samjahya aur khud se kaha ki ab humari jo bhi baat hogi saadi ke baad hogi sirf 2 mahine hi to baaki hai abhi tyaariya bhi bohot karni hai........Bas fir kya tha meine apni ankhe band kar li aur is samandar mein chhalang lagane ki tyaari kar li thi........
Itna kafi nahi tha shayad meri shadi se 12 din pehle mere dada ji ki death ho gai.......mujhe wo chod kar chale gaye jo iss pure jahan mein mujhse sabse jyada pyaar kartein thy.....aur yahi nahi saadi ki puri tyaari karwake unhone apni ankhe baand ki.......mere liye zindagi, pyaaar, apne sab ke maine meri nazro ke samne ghumne lage thy.........meine apne Babu ji ko bohot uthaya par wo nahi uthe shayad wo zid par utaru thy ki tu ye saadi mat kar fir uthunga mein nahi samjh pai mein babu ji nahi samjh pai thi ki aap kya kehna chatein thy....... Mein kya koinahi samjh paya ki wo sirf 12 din pehle kyo gaye, brahmin hote hue bhi humne saadi postpon nahi ki resone ki ab sab tyaariyan ho gaithi humari nahi ladke walo ki aur wo ab inn tyaariyo ki waste nahi hone dena chahtein thy.......Baat sirf saadi ki hi to thi na vidai to hoti nahi humare yaha abhi bhi gauna system hai.....Islye sab waise hi hua jaise pehle plain kiya gaya tha.....
Saadi wala din aaya, barat aai kuch bi feel nahi ho raha tha sirf babu ji hi nazar aa rahe thy.... jai mal hui fir thodi der mein pandit ji ne mandap mein bulaya....mantro ke sath ahast milap hua manoj ne mera hanth itni zor se pakda tha ki jaha meine ring pehni thi un ungliyo ke soft part se bliding suru ho gai thi.... thodi der mein jab sab ko pata chala ki hanth se khoon nikal raha hai manoj ne kaha "Sorry ye kahi gir na jaye fero ke waqt isliye thoda zor se pakad liya tha...Sorry" Sach kahu to mujhe khas fark nahi pada iss jyada to inki pehle wale ehsaano wali baat ne dard diya tha......
Saadi ke fere, subha kuch rasmein hui aur barat wapas chali gai aur mein Priti Mishra se Mrs Priti Manoj Panday ho gai thi......Saadi ke baad bhi humne shayad 5-6 baar baat ki aur fir gaune ki date fix ho gai 28th May 2010.
Ek mahina pur baaki tha magar mein chah kar bhi khud ko apne ghar mein bhi comfortable nahi feel karwa paa rahi thi........har waqt bas ek hi dar tha ki 28 May ko jana hai, 28 May ko jana hai is tarik ne mujhse wo waqt, wo lamha bhi cheen liya tha. Na mein jee pa rahi thi aur na aage ane wali zindgi mein ache se jine ki umeed kar pa rahi thi....... shayad mein waise hi mehsus kar rahi thi jaise ek kaidi karta hai jab uski fasi ki tarikh nazdik aa jati hai.........sach kahu to mujhe abhi bhi nahi pata ki mein kya mehsus kar rahi thi... bas jo bhi tha bura tha us uppar wale se guzarish hai ki wo waqt mujhe ab kabhi dobara na dikhaye...... khana pina hasna sab band ho gaya tha aur shayad Shahiba ji fir se kisi lambi gehri need mein chali gai thi......Shayad unhe mera aur manoj ka saath hona raas nahi aa raha tha..... par unki us waqt mujhe jarurat bhi nahi thi...ha swarthi ho gai thi mein par apne kiye nahi pata tha mujhe ki agar Shahiba aa gai to ab bhi wo muje manoj ke pass jane se rok sakti hai...isliye nahi aane diya meine usse bas usse sone diya.......Kash meine usse jagaya hota...........
Akhik kar wo waqt aa gaya jahan mujhe apna astitw, apni pehchan, apna naam, apna kaam, apni ichhaye aur apnikhwahishe chhod kar aage jana pada par mein us din khush thi.......khushi thi mujhe ki mere mummy papa ke sar se meri zimmedari kam hui, wo bhi ab sar utha ke kaheinge humne apni beti ki saadi kar di, wo mehsus kareinge ki meri beti apni gehasti mein khush hai....issi swarth ne to mujhe andha bana diya tha...... Sahi kaha tha sahiba ne insaan tabhi kisi ke paas jata hai jab uska apna koi swart ho....... mein bhi swarthi thi..
Waha se nikal kar mein chali hi thi ki itni barish ki lag raha tha jaise ab bas gaadi chalna chhod tairna suru karegi, kisi tarha mein apne sasural pohochi. Hala ki mujhe pata tha ki ghar mitti ka hai par kehtein hai na kathni aur karni mein bohot antar hota hai aur karni ne mujhe mere asli sagharsh ka ehsaas tab karaya jab meine pehla kadam apni car se bahar unke dwar par kadam rakha.....meri sandel jamin se nikal hi nahi rahi thi....barish ki wajah se jamin thodi gal gai thi......ab mein lehga sambhalti ya sandel.....? Meine apni sandel wahi chhod di haaa sahi samjhe hai aap us waqt tak mere mummy papa ne mujhe zamin mein regne ki halat se la kar apne pairo par ek chhadi ke sahare chalne layak to kar hi diya tha......aab to aap samjh hi sakteinhai na aap ki mujhe apni us sandel se itna pyaar kyo tha.....kisi tarha apne pero ke pedicure ko bali pe chdha ke meine mitti mein per rakha ya khahu to mitti bhiu nahi gili mitti mein, aage nazara aur bhi sundar tha ye mitti to baramde ki thi aage angan mein to ganga, jamuna aur saraswati ka samgam ho raha tha.....in short wo angan nahi swimming pool lag raha tha.......bura nahi laga dekhne mein achha tha.....Bura nahi sadma laga jab ye pata chala ki ismein per dal kar hi mein apne kamre tak ja sakti hu aur koi rasta nahi hai........ek to mein paani se darti hu dusra itna bhari lehga tisra ye barish tham nahi rahi thi chutha mera kamra hai kon sa jana kaha hai aise na jane kitni uljhano ko dur karne meri chachi saas ne aake mujhe sahara diya aur sabse kehne lagi "yeh haweli ka dekhab band kara, tanki patohiya ki madat ka jaye ma" unke itna kehne ki der thi bas ki chote chote bache bhi aa gaye sahara dena, sirf us moment ke liye bada acha lag raha tha apne ko itni importance milne par..... sab ne aisa sahara diya ki kadam zamin par nahi hawa mein cha rahe thy......sach ek bhi kadam pani mein nahi bhiga aur mein apne kamre tak pohoch gai....meine kamre mein pair rakha hi thaki piche se awaz aai, "Haye mai re" meine piche dekha to meri 5 chachi saas mein se ek sab se choti, sabse young mumbai wali chachi pani mein giri padi thi....aur has rahi thi...mujhe bhi hasi aai hi thio ki yaad aaya ki priti ji abhi aap ghughat mein hi hai hasna chodo aur muskura kar kaam chala lo........
Hum andar bade to ek chota sa kamra tha har tarf sirf aur sirf kapde thy kisi male ke......aisa lag raha tha ki jaise ki purane kapde ki factory mein aa gaye ho........mein thak gai thi isliye bethna chahti thi par waha na koi chair aur na koi bed aur na koi khat thi.....tabhi choti chahi saas ne kaha " O humri nai nawaili bahu yaha bethne ko kuch nahi milega sidhe letna padega, humari tarha" fir to mein khud ko kuch nahi samjha pai aur hasne lagi tab tak dusri chahi saas ne ek chatai la ke bicha di aur kaha ki jab tak tumhara saman nahi aa jata tum yahi betho, wo tumhara kamra hai na to isse tumhare saman ke liye khali kar diya hai, tab tak beth jaogi na yaha......?" meine haa mein sar hila diya..... aur sab ne mujhe sahara de ke bitha diya.......
Lag bhag do ghante mein hi saman aa gaya aur sab us room mein saman fit karne mein lag gaye....... sab khus thy. Meri saasu maa kehne lagi ki bahu ke per subh hai aate hi ghar pani se bhar gaya aur barish band hui ti saman se 3ino kamre mein to rakh diya ab ye tv, washing machin aur Almirah kaha rakhe........kisi ka suggestion aaya baramde mein rakh dete hai baad mein dekhege kya karna hai.......mein upset ho gai meri Almirah wo bhi baramde mein nahiiiiii..........par bechari bahu kya kar sakti hai....
Ab bari aai muh dkhai ki, ghaw wale aaye sab ke muh par yahi tha "bahu sunder to hai par peir thoda jyada hi kharab hai.." raat hui aur meri sasu ma ji mere paas aai aur kehne lagi "Kitne paise mile hai muh dikhai mein mujhe de do hisab rakhna padta hai na kisne ktna diya usse utna wapas bhi to karna padta hai" Baat to logical hi thi meine bina kuch soche bina kuch bole paise de diye....... fir 2 mint hi bite honge mummy kehne lagi ki "Iss kamre mein almari nahi aa sakti tum apne kimti saman mujhe de dena ya rakhna surakshit nahi hai ghaw hai na sab jantein hai ki shehar ki bahu hai kaafi laai hogi to tumhere paas saman rakhne tumhe musibat mein daal sakta hai" Us waqt to yahi lag raha tha ki mummy meri kitni care kar rahi hai... meine de diye....
Agla din aaya rasmo riwazo ke saath shamdhali aur geet sngeet suru hua tabhi ek phone aay aur matam dsa sannata cha gaya, mujhe thodi der mein pata chala ki mere sasur ji jo lucknow mein hai unki tabiyat bohot kharab hai aur meri saas ko aaj hi wapas lucknow jana hoga......fir lagbhag 1 ghante mein manoj aaye aur kehne lage ki kya mere paas kuch paise honge papa ke liye urgent jarurat hai, unke account mein to hai nahi aur jab unki salary aayegi wo de denge, Ab mana kar pane wali na to situation thi aur na mera kaleza itna pathar dil tha mere pass jo bhi tha 10,000 bachake baki de diye.... wo chale gaye... mummy ne jate hue kaha ki bahu mein tera saman le ja rahi hu yaha mein kisi pe viswas nahi kar sakti.......aate hue wapas le aaungi...Baat kuch digest to nahi ho rahi thi par kehne jaisa wo mahol aur meri auda nahi tha aur manoj ne bhi kuch nahi kaha........
Wo chali gai aur ek do din aisi choti moti baat ke sath kat gaye aur mere pag fere ka waqt aa gaya.......
In Char dino ka saransh nikalne ki koshish karu to mein chah kar bhi kuch negative sochna nahi chahti thi........ghar wapas aane par wahi kiya jo socha tha meine kisi se koi aisi baat share nahi ki jo negative waves deti ho... Sab achha hai sab thik hai sabhi acche hai........
Iske ek haftein baad mein fir apni saruraal gai Lucknow mein 15 din ke liye.....waha sab achha tha ek 150 gaz ka ghar tha 3 kamre ek baramda, kitchen, bathroom sab tha.... bas us waqt dikkat ki baat ye thi ki us ghar mein electricity connection nahi tha aur us ghar mein koi aur rehta nahi tha, abhi naya bana tha na sabhi rent par iss ghar se thoda dur rehtein thy......mein aur manoj aur unki masi ki ek ladki hum 3 yaha rehne lage....wo din bita raat tak 3 bore aaye dekhne mein to kaga ki kya hai ye....boro ka size meri hight se bhi jyada tha aur width 90 ya 110 Inch.... dekh kar laga ki pure ghar ka saman lagta hai inhi 3 boro mein daal diya hai......par baad mein dekha to unmein sirf bartan thy......Manoj ne kaha ye papa ke puri zindagi ke panditai mein kamaye hue bartan hai......... meine kaha "Itne saare inse to hum ek bartano ki dukan bhi khok saktein hai" Manoj ne kaha "Ek glass utha ke dekho mummy hanth kat ke darwaze pe tang dengii" aur hum doono hasne lage hasi tab band ho gai jab bitti ne aake kaha ki bhabhi ye bartan hume kal hi saaf karne padenge 2 din baad ghrh prawesh ki puja hai na" us waqt ky agle din tak na mujhe hasi aai aur na us raat nind apni ab tab tak ki zindagi mein mein 2 - 4 bartano ke liye jo apni mummy ko nakhde dikhati thi us ka bhugtan karne ka waqt aa gaya tha.....subha 7 baje se chai pi ke bartano mein lagi par shaam 6 baje tak bhi khatam nahi hue.......haar kar sabhi 8 baje tak khatam kiye aur naha kar jake soo gai khana to yaha is ghar mein banta nahi tha isliye sirf nind dikh rahi thi aur banta bhi to pata nahi mein bana pati bhi ya nahi....? agli subha meri badi tafiff hui kyoki jis room mein bittu ne bartan rakhe thy us mein ek kadam rakhne ki jagah bhi nahi thi....... us din agar recirding ki hoti to mujhe lagta hai ki mera naam bhi Guinness World Records India mein hota...... par koi baat nahi fir kabhi dobara attampt kareinge..... ye soch khud par itrati hui mein apne kamre mein aa gai... Mummy mere pich-piche aai aur kehne lagi ki kal to bohot kaam ho gaya ab aisa karna ki bas tum aaram karna aur agar man kahe to ye 2 bore chawal aur gehu ke hai, inhe sham tak bin lena.....Saari akad nikal gai laga ki priti ab tumhara kya hoga par hona kya tha kaise bhi kar ke raat 2 baje tak chawal aur adha bore gehu hi saaf hue thy socha kla subha jaldi uth kar mummy ke us ghar se aane ke pehle inhe saaf kar dungi par.....nind na khulne se ye plainning adhoori reh gai.........thodi si daat padi ki jo kaam jab ke liye diya jaye usse tab hi kiya karo......sun liya meine....Na sunne ka koi vikalp bhi nahi tha mere pass..... ab aise na jane kitne kaam jinmein se ghar ki ramayan ke 70-80 logo ka ghana mere hantho se banne ki pratha jaise kai avsar thy jaha mera sangharsh chalta raha.......... aur ghar mein reh pravesh ki rasm puri hui aur kitchen iss ghar mein shif ho gai........ Fir to mere pure din ka dincharya tyaar tha subha 4 baje se 6 baje tak pur ghar ke dono floor ka jhadu pocha karna, fir 6:30 tak naha ke kitchen mein jana 8 baje tak manoj, papa ji aur do dewaro ko kahana aur lunch dena, fir mummy ko khana kilana fir bartan dhona, fir lage hanth kapde dhona fir takiya ki cover silna ya mummy ka blouse silna jaise anginat kaam hi meri hasti kheti duniya ke farz thy.. Annt mein sirf ye hua ki mein jab delhi aane ko tyaar thi tab behosh ho gai delhi nahi sidhe PGI pohchi doctor ne khoon ki kami aur kamzori batai 1 din ilaaz chala fir papa mujhe delhi le aaye......
Fir 3 manine baad jab mein wapas amethi gai to ab mein nai bahu nahi thii to ab aqt aa gaya tha chulhe pe khana banane ka.....himmat to ye keh ke juta ki ki aag hi to lagani hai bartanoo ke niche, kar lungi mein par jab haqiqat se samna hua to zindgi jhulasti si nazar aai....saath ke saath ab ek aur cheez aa gai thi ki aaj iss cheez ke paise nahi hai kal chini ke paise nahi hai.......aaj cycle banwani hai to kal mitti ka teeel lana hai in sab ke liye jab manoj mujhse mangte nahi sarmatein hthy to mein anakani bhi nahi karti thi fir apne M.A ke admission ke paise mere B.A ke admission ke paise, fir meri sarkari nukari ke liye reiswat ke paise jaisise na jane kitne bahane thy....Ek din aisa bhi aaya ki mere paas paise khatam ho gaye......Manoj ko jarurat unke school mein aaye unke freind ko paise udhar dene ki thi meine mana kar diya unhe dene se kyo ki mere pass antim sirf 1000 rupaye hi bache thy us din manoj ka pehla thappad mere galo ke saath saath meri zindagi ko sunn kar gaya tha......
Fir thodi behas aur na jane kaise 2 din mein hi manoj itna rude behave karne lage thy mujhse...jaise unhe bas ek hi intzaar hai ki mein kuch galti karu aur wo mujhe bura bhala kehna air galiya dena suru karein... Ek din mere pet mein halka dard tha, roz ki tarha mummy ka phone aaya aur meine roz ki tarha kaha ki "yaha sab thik hai mummy aap waha ke bare mein bataiye mummy kaise hai aap.........?" Mummy ne kaha nahi sab to thik nahi hai tabiyat kharab hai kya...isse pehle ki mummy guesses kar aur paresaan hoti meine kaha "Ary maaa halki si dard hai pet mein dawai le li hai abhi aap dekhna 2 ghante mein sab changa ho jayega".....Shyad mummy iss baar mere jhoot se santust nahi thi...unhone mera phone rakh kar mere papa se baat ki aur dono ne phir meri sasu ma ko calll kiya aur guzarish ki ki mujh par dyaan de kyoki mujhe aadat nahi hai apne dars ko batane ki.... Sasu maa ne unse baat karne ke baad mujhe call kiya aur kaha ki" Kyo ho gai tassali sab ko yebatake ki tera yaha koi khayal hi nahi rakhta, yahi sanskaar hai tere ki zara-zara si baat tu apne maike mein bataye. Aaj ke baad tu waha tab baat kareingi jab mein kahungi...Samjhi.......?" Meine kaha "Hmmm"
Papa mummy ko pata nahi kya huaaa tha wo normally to din mein sirf ek baar hi call kartein thy par us din unhone mujhe 3 baar call kiya par mein ro rahi thi isliyemeine phone nahi uthaya warna wo aur pareshan ho jatein ki na jane kya ho gaya hai........tab jab meine phone nahi uthaya papa me manoj pe paas phone kiya manoj school khatam hone par ghar aaye aur aate hi kaha "Apne baap se keh de, uska phone uthane ke siwa mere paas aur bhi bohot kaam hai" aur phone meri tarf faik diya meine phone utha ke rakh diya papa ki call tab bhi aa rahi thi. meine fir phone nahi uthaya par ek Message kar diya ki abhi mein khana bana rahi hu baad mein baat karti hu..... par unhe ja jane ki baat ki bechaini thi..fir phone aane laga....jaise hi meine phone uthaya aur "Hello" kaha hi tha ki pata nahi kaise manoj ne aake mujhse phone cheen liya aur 2-3 thappad maar ke baal pakad ke kehne lage mummy ne mana kiya tha na baat karne se.... Tab jake shahiba ji jagi aur unhone kaha ki "Mere ma-pa hai mera jab ji hoga mein baat karungi, tum ya koi mujhe mana nahi kar sakta" Itne par hi unhone mera hanth pakda aur ghasitna suru kat diya aur wo aangan se baramde ki oor jane laga aur kehne lage ki "Ab teri isss ghar mein koi jarurat nahi hai, nikal yaha se" mere hanth baramde ka darwaza laga aur meine apne aapko aage jane se rokaaur apna hanth chudatein hue kaha ki "Byahta hu tumhari, bhga kar nahi laye ho jo yu hi chali jau, doli aai thi ab arti jayegi" Is par manoj ji ne bas ek smile paas ki aur wahi bagal mein rakha papper cutter lekar mujhedhakka diya aur mera balance karab hone se mein gir gai.girne se mere right kidney mein chot aai chokhat se itne ki mein dard bardast bhi karti unhone mera ulta haanth pakda aur papper cutter se 2 baar zor se kalai pe waar kiya aur kehne lage marna hai na tujhe bohot jaldi hai naarthi nikalwane ki, mujheto chtkara chahiye ab tu jaye ya teri arthi. Mujhe fark nahi padta" itna kehtein-kehtein unhone char cuts meri kalai par mare aur mein behosh ho gai....... pata nahikitni der baad jab ankh khuli to dekha manoj meri dressing table par bethe thy aur mein wahi unke pair ke paas jamil par padi thi unha ek pair mere sine pe tha aur apne hantho se unhone meri kalai ke kate hue hisse mein ungli se kured rahe thy, shayad us waqt dard se meri ankh hul gai thi.....ankh khultein hi kate hie hanth ko to nahi hila pai par dusre hanth se meine unhe dhakka de ke khud ko chudane ki sochi par shayad itni takat bach nahi thi mujhemein ki mein unhe hila bhi saku is par unhone fir 3 - 4 thapad mare aur mein fir behosh ho gai.
Jab hosh aay to sab thy waha chachi saas, ek dewar, 2 nand aur manoj. Chahi saas ne mujhe apni god mein rakh rakha tha haanth par pati bandhi thi aur wo rote-rote kehne lagi ki "Pata tha na tujhe ki yaha sukh suvidha nahi haioto bhi tu aai na yaha par, is bechare ko time to de ye sab banwa dega tere liye, ye kalai kaat ke tu ye sab banwa legi" Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha meine manoj ki taraf dekha to wo ro rahe thy.......kaafi weekness feel ho rahi thi sab jo yaad aa raha tha wo sapne ki tarha lag raha tha. Fir 2 - 3 mint baad meine chahi se kaha ki "Ye meine nahikata inhone kata hai" iss par wo turant rote hue bole "Dekha chachi, ab bhi sara ilzaam mujh par, aapko tp pata hai na kitna pyaar karta hu mein isse, aur ye mujh par hi aisa ilzaam laga..........." fir chachi ne kaha ki "Aaj kal li ladkiyo mein sabr naam ki to cheez hai nahi hai. Ab bas chup ho ja bohot ho gaya tum dono ka, mujhepata hota to mein bahar jati hi nahi" Lakh koshisho ke baad bhi kisi ne bhi viswas nahi kiya ki ye meine nahi kiya.....
Agli subha mein soti hi reh gai aur manoj school ja chuke thy.....unke wapas aane tak mein kaam khatam kar ke silai karne lagi thi....wo aaye aate hi unhone mere hanth ki patti khol kar dawa lagana chahtein thy....mujhe dard itna tha ki kuch sochna samajhna mere bas ke bahar ki baat thi....mein chup thi baas hanth aage kar diya....unhone dawa lagi aur patti bandh di.....fir wo kamre mein gaye aur idhar chahi bhi aa gai....wo kamre se ek papper aur pen laye aur kehne lage is par wo likho jo mein keh raha hu......chachi ne kaha fir suru kro tumhe jo karna hai aur chahi uth kar jane lagi meine unka hanth pakad liya aur wo beth gai..... meine kaha chahi mein kuch likh kar nahi dene wali hu.....aap keh dijiye inse....aur mujhse baat karne ki koi jarurat nahi hai....itna kehne ki der thi bas manoj ja ke Fukni le ke aaye aur mere sar par martein hi tab tak chahi ji ne apna hanth bich mein le aai aur mein bachi chachi ji rone lagi aur kehne lagi "Bas bohot ho gaya, Ab bas jo isse chahiye tum isse do aur jo isse chahiye tum isse likh ke do. Mamla yahi issi waqt khatam hona chahiye" mujhe khud par gussa aaye meine kaha lao kya likhwana hai bolo fir manoj boltein gaye aur mein likhti gai "Mein Mrs Priti Panday mansik aur sharirik rup se viklang hu aur kisi bhi haal mein Mr. Manoj Panday ke layak nahi hu. Mein apni zindagi se hatash hu aur agar bhavishya mein mujhe kuch hua to na to uske zimmedar manoj honge aur na uske pariwaar ka koi sadasya." ye likh kar meine paper par sign kiya aur manoj mujhse papper mangne lage....meine kah "Ye meri zindagi ka farmaan to mein aapko de du aap mujhe kya denge" Kya chaiye meine kaha "Mujhe mera phone chahiye" ek hanth se unhone mujhe phone diya aur dusre hanth se meine unhe wo papper diya.. Papper lete hi wo kahi bahar chale gaye aur meine papa ko call karke sab bata diya..Papa ne kaha mein kal hi aa rah hu tab tak tum saman pack karo aur lucknow jao yaha ab rukne ki koi jarurat nahi hai"......Agle 1 ghante mein lucknow se Ashutosh ( chote dewar ) mujhe waha se le jane aaya tha aur meri sasu ma ka call aaya ki "Tum sidhe chup chap yaha aa jao". meine bag pack kiya aur mein manoj ko inform kiye bina Asu ke saath Lucknow chali gai.... waha mein sham 4 baje tak pohoch gai thi aur 4:30 baje tak meine unhe sa bata diya tha....aur meri sasu ma ne gehri saas lete hue kaha ki "Tum fikar mat karo, Manoj par sani ki sadhesati hai. Abse tum usse har saniwar udad dal ki khichadi bana ke khilana...." Meri jo bach umeedthi wo bhi khatam ho chali thi. 6 baje manoj ji bhi aa gaye aur aate ke sath hi unhone apni belt utar kar mujhe janwaro ki tarha marna suru kar diya tha aur kehne lage teriitni himmat ki tu mujhe bina batay e ghar se bhag nikli" tabhi shor sun kar meri saas bhagti hui aai aur gate band kar diya aur kaha ki ye hai teri pasand na isse saadi karn chahta tha na le ab bandh isse gale mein ghum ab.......Manoj belt feik kar bahar ye boltein hue nikal gaye ki " Shi kaha maa galti meri thi sahi bhi mein hi karunga" aur sab chale gaye..... aur fir se mein akeli thi waha.....
Subha 6 baje papa aa gaye aur mujhe waise hi waha se sidhe caar book kar ke delhi le aaye kyoki meri halat na chalne ki thi aur na uthne ki........ Delhi aakar meine 8 manine yahi bitaye, tab na mein kisi se bolna janti thi na hasna aur na rona......
Fir Mere chacha sasur ji ne manoj ke kiye ki maafi mangi aur uski dimagi halat thik na hone ka wasta diya, unhone kaha ki agar mein waha wapas nahi gai to manoj kabhi thik nahi ho payeinge" Papa nahi mane, aur papa khud wha gaye manoj ne apne kiye ki mafimangi aur sabhi ghaw walo ke samne likh kar diy aki unhone jo bhikiya mere sath wo galat tha....aur ab se meri har zimmedari manoj par hogi....Mein fir apne pati parmeswar ke paas wapas gai par iss baar mein clear thi iss baar kuch nahi.kuch bhi nahi...... aur hua wahi jo hona chahiye tha Manoj ne fir apna rang ek haftein mein hi dikha diya...... tab se aaj tak lagbhag 2 saal se mein yaha hu......aur ab shyad kabhi bhi na ja saku.......
Shahiba kaha thi wo jab mujhe takat ki jarurat thi........aaj hai wo mujh mein par aaj kya mujhe wastav mein uski jarurat bhi hai.......sach kahu to usse sulaya bhi to meine hi tha na...Manoj aur us mein se chuna bhi to meine manoj ko hi tha na.......fir ye uska dosh kaise tha ki wo mujhe waha support nahi karti thi........Shayad wo bhi mere is anchahe ristein ko bachane ki koshish mein lagi thi..........Aaj agar mein kisi pe ankh band karke bharosh karti hu to wo hai shahiba.......priti ne to fir apn asuo ke liye kandhe dhundhe suru kar diye hai......Par Shahiba aaj bhi wahi hai unhi usulo mein ji rahi hai.......
Aisa nahi hai ki meine apne ristein mein sirf andhwiswas dikhaya hai, sab samajh aane ke baad jab mein delhi aai sabse pehle meine nanakpura women cell, Delhi mein case registered karwaya, lakho reasons mein de sakti thi ki meine aisa kyo kiya par agar baat mere is faisele ko justify karne pe aati to mein khud bhi nahi kar pati par, pata nahi ye kaisa lalach tha jo iss mod par aakar bhi piche palatne ko betab tha, bas jarurat thi to ek awaz ki par ye to kudrat ka niyam hai ki jo tumhe chahiye bas wahi nahi milega.....baki sab tumhara hai....... nanak pura mein councelling ki apeel par 5 - 6 dates pade par manoj ka koi reply nahi aaya.......meri suvidha ke liye case ko Sriniwaspuri mein transfer kar diya gaya kyoki sriniwas puri badarpur (mera ghar) se nazdik hai. Shri niwas puri mein bhi 4 - 5 dates pad gai par manoj ka reply fir bhi nahi aaya. Mein bohot udas thi man ko lag raha tha jaise unhe meri jarurat hi nahi hai, unhe koi parwah nahi hai ki mein chahe humesha ke liye chali jau....... ye umeede unse bebuniyad nahi thi mein apni chaht ka sabut de aai thi mein chahti to usi waqt police ko phone kar ke inhe andar karwa sakti thi par mera maksad unhe saza dena nahi tha inhe ye batana tha ki aap kyo nahi samajh rahe ho ki mein patni hu tumhari........? Unki khamoshi mujhe andar hi andar khokhla karti ja rahi thi.....takat aur viswas to mein wahi kho kar aai tha aur atma viswas mein yaha kho rahi thi........Akhir kaar shahiba ji ko mujhe par shayad taras aa gaya ya yu keh lu ki ab unka gussa mujhe par se shant ho gaya tha........mano wo chup rehkar bhi mujhese ye keh rahi thi ki "Tu nahi sudhregi kar le apni betuki koshishe jab haar jana tab batana"
Ab to sach kahu to mujhe khud par bhi viswas nahi tha... Pata nahi kaha se ek himmat aai aur faisla liya ki ab mujhe ye insaan apni life mein wapas nahi chahiye......Saket court ja ke "Gharelu hinsa" ka case darj kiya, haaa malum hai mujhe ye koi bohot bada kadam nahi tha par iske siwa mere pass koi aur option bhi to nahi tha na.... meri saadi UP mein hui Saadi ke baad rehti mein UP mein hui thi to case yaha delhi se kaise ho sakta tha......Juridiction problem thi...mein wapas se us ghaw ya us insaan ko ab nahi dekhna chahti thi........
Saket court ki pehli 2 tarikh par bhi janab ne aane ka kast nahi kiya aur tisri tarikh par jab janab aaye to kisi freind ke saath aae thy mein mummy aur papa waith court room mein hi thy aur janab 10 - 12 baar humare samne se guzre par hum hai koi ye unhe shayad nahi pata tha bas ek tedhi si muskan un dono ke chehro par aati aur wo nikal lete......"agar wo court nah hota to dekhne wale ko shayad ye galatfehmi jarur hoti unhe dekh ke ki jaise wo koi award lene kisi award function mein aaye hai"... agli 2 tarikh tak aisa hi hua.....fir 6th tarikh par humesha ki tarha hum bhi aaye aur wo bhi aur pichli 3 tarikho ki tarha hum ek dusre ko nahi jantein thy....fir ek inspector ne awaz lagi "Priti Mishra v/s Manoj pandaay" mein andar gai aur manoj bhi aaye hum dono ke bich humari wakil sahiba thi honarable judge ne puch ki "Manoj Panday hai aap....?" "haa mam" jawab diya manoj ne... fir judge ne puch ki "Aap ke wakil kaha hai...?" Manoj ne jawab diya "Mam humari arthik istithi is layak nahi hai ki hum wakil kar sake" "to ye apni patni ko pareshan karne se pehle sochna chaiye tha na" judge ne kaha... Hum aapko ye antim muka de rahe hai ya to aap wakil laiye warna aap ki taraf se hui laparwahi ke sirf aap jimmedar honge...? Manoj se judge ne kaha aur mujhse kaha ki "Priti Mishra kya aap inke saath jana chahti hai" meine kaha "nooo mam, nahi" to fir aap ki agi tarikh 10 july 2012 ki hai.... "thanks Mam" meine kaha aur mam ne apna sir hilatein hue mere thanks ka jawab diya.......Bahar aate hi hum ghar jane ki tyaari kar hi rahe thy ki manoj ne aake mummy aur papa ke pair chue aur kaha ki "Namastein mummy, Namastein papa ji, mujhe aaplogo se khuch baat karni thi" Hum abhi bhi manoj ko na dekhne ka dikhawa karni ki nakam koshisho mein lage thy.... fir meine kaha "kya baat hai mujhse karo..bolo ab kya kehna hai" Manoj ne jawab diya ki "kya chahti ho tum ghar kyo nahia aa rahi ho.....? ek to galti tumhari ki bina bataye aa gai uppar se mujhe par hi gussa dikha rahi to, pata hai aissa koi din nahi hai jab meine tumhe yaad na kiya ho" Meine kaha, " hmmm, mujhe yaad karnato ab tumhari mazbuuri hogai hogi itne dino se na kisi ko mara hoga, na aliya di hongi aur na hi koi tumhare piche pada hoga ki ab aap khana kha lo, ab paani piyo ab sir daba du, kapde dho du press kar du ghar set rakhu ye sab ab nahi ho raha hoga. Waise kamal baaat hai tumhe ye sab cheze sidhe ek saal baad yaad aai hai, itna miss kar rahe thy to ek saal se kaha thy...? pichle 6 baar hume dekh kar bhi yaad bnahi aaya ki hum tumhari patni hai, wahi patni jise tum zinda ya fir murda ghar se bahar nikalna chatein thy. Ab mein tumhare ghar se bahar hu yahi chahiye tha na tumhe, ab khush......? mein nahi hu tumhari life mein......jao yaha se...." Pehli baar itna boli thi mein manoj ke samne....khush to nahi thi par kuch achha ya keh saktein hai ki kuch sukun mehsus kar rahi thi mein........
Fir se ek fareb ka silsila chal pada, manoj ke roz messages, calls letters aur pata nahi kya kya....? abhi 6 mahine hue hi nahi thy ki mein is jhoot se bahar aana chahti thi ye har message muje chubhne laga tha.....nafrat hoti thi har baar istemaal hue pyaar naam ke lafz se........ pehle to socha tha ki puri zindagi yu hi bitaungi ab ki "Na hum jiyenge sukun se aur na sanam tumko chain ki saas lene denge" par in 6 mahino mein ek aisi nafrat ho gai mujhe is sakhs se ki inki sakal dekhna apne aap mein mere liye ek saza ho gai thi....nahi chahti thi mein har baar inki surat dekh kar apna wo apmaan wo zillat...... ya aap yu keh le ki inn dino mein shahiba ji ne hume bhi kuch izzat baksh di thi........ ab socha to yahi tha ki kaise bhi kar ke iss insaan se chutkara pana hai aur apni baki ki zindagi sirf isse hi yaad karke bitana hai taaki aur koi aake fir se wahi zakhm na de sake....... Haaa mujhe ab apne iss adhurepan se pyaar ho gaya tha, kitabi bateinhai ki har kisi ke liye koi na koi hota ha ya har insaan ek jaisa nahi hota magar is zindagi se jo meine sikha wo kadwa hi sahi par sach ye hai ki " Mere iss adhure pan ko bharna ab us uppar wale ke bhi bas ki baat nahi, shayad wo mujhe bana kar is kadar thak gaya ki mere jaisa mere liye mujhe jaisa adhura koi aur banana hi bhul gaya"
Ab to jo bhi is zindagi mein aate hai ki wo sampurd hai kuch sikhane aayeinge, koi hasna sikhayega, koi bindaas jina, koi saadi ka maswara dega koi akele jine ka, koi likhne ka koi padhne ka.........par kya koi ye bata sakta hai ki in mein se kon si aisi cheez hai jo mujhse ye kahe ki "Priti Mein humesha tere saath hu, tujhe jab bhi jarurat ho, ek rista hoga humara ek naam hoga, zindagi jine ki chahat hogi aur iss gumnaam safar ka kuch anjaam hoga" aur in sab ke baad sief ek naam mere zehan mein aata hai "Shahiba" par na jane kyo iska naam lete hi dar jati hu mein...agar meine shahiba ka haanth pakad liya to ek andhera nazar aane lagta hai ki jaise mein ismein kahi gum ho jaungi......
